Stillness is becoming rather inspirational. Our home seems so full of motion now. I compose this as Laura grabs some shut eye next to our cherub. Ryan had a checkup today, and the numbers are still resonating through our disbelieving parental craniums. Over seven pounds, almost 21 inches long, good color, great breath sounds, alert... the E ticket baby, baby! When Laura brought him home, he was fast asleep. I couldn't leave well enough alone, and scooped him from the car seat. Ninety minutes later, he accepted my apology with a final whimper.

After trying unsuccessfully to rock him to sleep in his portable crib, I found myself on the verge of falling unconscious on my feet. The past week has worn my immune system to tatters, and the lingering cough has produced some unsettlingly crimson results. "To heck with it," I muttered, and laid down with the tike in my arms. Laura snapped a photo of us in midday slumber, and like an idiot I'm unable to upload it. Maybe tomorrow.

My mom and stepdad dropped by with an outlandish gift for the boy. I'd describe it, but a picture is worth a thousand words. Again, tomorrow.

It's imperceptible at first, but as the days progress the entire dynamic of the home has changed. Ryan's presence hasn't flustered the cats at all. They are mildly curious at his outbursts and unique scent, but they certainly don't shy from contact. The oldest, Thurthton is doing exactly what I predicted. He's dying. He battled valiantly with a multitude of ailments until the boy arrived safely. Now the old man is letting go. He is tentative, and constantly gets disoriented around the house. He'll stop in a hallway and yowl at a shadow, and spends his days in the baby's room, nesting on a tall box in the half-opened closet. It's instinct. He's a cat, and knows he's vulnerable. A high vantage point will discourage an attack, though the only one that's coming is from our hands scratching underneath his chin. He's going blind, and has little hearing left. But his appetite is still good, and his gaunt frame is still draped by an inky and flawless coat. He has been the truest companion for almost half of my life, and I'll give him all the room in the world to decide when it's time. As a matter of fact, it's been a while since I've thrown a vigorous petting his way. Note to self...

Boy's awake, asking to be fed.

Thank you, God... for my silly little life.

Posted by: Paul @ 12:22 AM

It wouldn't surprise me if no one ever logged onto this site again. After this extended "hiatus," which has consisted of a stay for Ryan at the hospital, a debilitating virus that rendered me useless for five days, and a litany of computer problems the rehashing of which angers me to no end... I now begin again with the daily updates. Hopefully, I'll be able to allocate my time and keep this site fresh.

Where to begin? Last Saturday evening, Ryan was out of control. Not just crying... howling. I changed his diaper around 9 PM and noticed that his scrotum was large enough to sell advertising space. My first thought was that he had aggrevated his hernia. We took him to DeLand Hospital, and they also thought it looked herniated. Off we go to Florida South. The pediatrician instructs the ER team to administer a minute dose of morphine so that Ryan will relax and he could push the hernia back. Long story short, no hernia... good news. Ryan stopped breathing twice... decidedly not good news. He was literally dying in my arms before the ER team revived him. This results in a three day observation, and about four hours of sleep for me. The nightmare was relived every time I closed my eyes. So I decided not to close my eyes. Hence, the body wearing down... and finally giving in to whatever microscopic depth charge made its way into my system.

As I compose this entry, Laura is sleeping next to Ryan's crib. He's getting fussy, and the 3 AM feeding is around the corner. I pray that my makeshift quarintine was successful, and that Ryan will not be inflicted with whatever ailment accosted me. His immune system is compromised as is, and this past week or so has been taxing on the whole Long clan.

There is so much occuring, so quickly, that it's difficult to keep track of events even as they transpire. Pictures haven't been taken, because we've been too busy living it.
Ryan is over 7 lbs, and is starting to assert himself. His personality is forming, and it is so awe-inspiring to be around for all of these "God shots." For those wondering what the phrase "God shot" means; it's just a way of saying that we're getting a glimpse of God through these moments with our son. The feedings, the baths, the one-sided conversations during a diaper change, all of these snippets are irreplacable. One day I hope to tell him all about it.

One day...

Posted by: Paul @ 2:23 AM