I stumbled across a poem that a friend gave to me a decade ago. It's beautiful and haunting, and I wanted to share it with you. No, this isn't going to become a Speakeasy. Just read it, and marvel at the cadence, the cascade of verbiage. The English language has roughly six times the words of any other language known to man. I've always thought that the simplicity and heat of this prose is a fine example of our distinct linguistic advantage over the rest of the world.

MEDITATIONS AT LAGUNITAS

All the new thinking is about loss.
In this it resembles all the old thinking.
The idea, for example, that each particular erases
the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
of that black birch is, by his presence,
some tragic falling off from a first world
of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
because there is in this world no one thing
to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
a word is elegy to what it signifies.
We talked about it late last night and in the voice
of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
I made love to and I remembered how, holding
her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
I felt a violent wonder at her presence
like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
the thing her father said that hurt her, what
she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.

© 1987 Robert Hass

Ryan and mommy spent a quiet evening together with our friend Beth Schnelker, the owner of 1140 Orangewood, while daddy played tennis with Ryan Hardy, 19 year old REALTOR-phenom. Coincidentally, we received a strong offer for her home this evening, and hopefully the details will work themselves out and Beth, Jerry and the kids can move into their new home in Victoria Park. It's a gorgeous 3000 sq footer just a stone's throw from the tennis courts and workout facility.

It's been a huge day for Ryan. At 9 this morning he was extibated, which means that our li'l boy is now breathing in and out with only CPAP, and not a tube down his throat. This is by no means the end of the road for the tube, as apnea sometimes requires more assistance than the CPAP can provide. But it is marked progress, and that is the object of our prayers. His eyes are clearer... and his attitude toward demise is more defiant. He's showing tenacity beyond our wildest expectations. He's a good boy.

Swann & Associates is blasting through the work week on all cylinders, with pending contracts on this lovely Bent Oaks rancher and this historic DeLand location materializing rather swiftly. It's not surprising, the sellers had good agents.

Sue Turnbull is a gem, and reading her bio doesn't give one insight to the content of her character. She's hip, and not in the "I've got four kids, and I can get jiggy with it" kind of dorkishness that's so pervasive in today's parent. She's secure in the legacy that her husband and she have helped create, and now it's time to make a bit of play money by selling dirt. In a word, she's a natural.

Gerald "Jerry" Gill needs the day-to-day headaches of the industry like he needs a stick in the eye. His resume is fearsome, and this business is a mere extension of the 30 years practice he's had assessing people's motivation. That's what a school administrator does, especially a principal. Jerry's a DeLand fixture, and awakens each morning with the firm intention of playing life to a standstill. As an aside, his home on Orange Camp is the best deal in town.

Alright, enough pandering for one night. Got to attack it in the morning. Oh, wait... it's already morning.

Love you, boy.

Posted by: Paul @ 2:03 AM

Life is moving a bit too rapidly, and I have been negligent on my blogging. It isn't going to get any better with this post... as it is nearly one AM and I am just now receiving Internet service again. Don't ask me. I push the button, the box lights up... I start typing.

Yesterday was my first "kangaroo care" experience. Unfortunately, I felt a bit under the weather beforehand and took some Tylenol PM (saying the name makes me drowsy.) When the option was offered to hold him, I couldn't refuse. So the lights were turned low, and the recliner was slid into place, and Ryan Walker Long was placed on my ample and rather bushy chest. He kicked and fussed and gripped like mad. Wouldn't you twitch about if placed in a 100 degree shag carpet?! After a spell, he settled in... and his evening nourishment swished down the tube like he was trying to win a bet during Spring Break.

Laura took some footage, then went to express. I was alone with my son. He conked out like the milk was laced with brandy. I tried like heck not to pass out with him, but forty-five minutes into it there was no avoiding the inevitable. The dimmed lights, the Lazy Boy, the snoozing infant... ball game. But the experience of this 2 and a half pound baby on my chest has left a permanent indentation.

Tonight's visit was astounding in that the respiratory therapist, Mike, felt that Ryan's breaths per minute and O2 processing may warrant his breathing tube being replaced by a CPAP (continuous positive air pressure... or something like that) apparatus. Quite simply, we may be hearing our child's first cry very soon. Music, sweet music to our ears, I can assure you. Gradually, wires are disappearing. He's becoming a more self-sustaining organism. Absolutely fascinating.

I will refer you to the blog of March 2, 2004. In it, I linked to a lovely home in The Timbers. I said that the price was ambitious, but "get it while you can."

Yeah, it's gone. Less than a month, and for what I am sure is darn close to full price. We won't know until it settles, but rest assured it will settle.

Alright, more tomorrow. Thanks, Bright House... for giving me some service!

Love you, Ryan Walker.

Posted by: Paul @ 1:08 AM

How's that for "no new content?" The past three days have been spent with family, visiting our son, and playing in the DeLand Country Club Member/Guest Tournament. My step-father Jack and I had the highest of aspirations as we teed it up Saturday morning. Those hopes were dashed after nine holes. But the weekend was delightful, the company sublime, and the weather was beyond compare. I played like a dog the first day, but today's round was somewhat encouraging. I shot 74, and swung from the heels most of the day. The shoot-out to determine the overall winner took almost as long as the round itself, and by the end of the event most members and their guests were sufficiently imbibed. A grand time was most assuredly had by all.

Ryan Walker Long is proving to be quite the fighter. He is gaining weight and ingesting mom's milk at rate which is confounding the most skeptical Nurse Practitioner. He is almost 2 lbs, 9 oz. and drinks 22 cc's of milk every three hours. Our son is now on full feeds, and requires no additional IV fluids for his nourishment. Even more encouraging is his rate of breathing. The important numbers are these: to be relieved of his intubation tube (which supplies oxygen while allowing his lungs to continue developing,) the machine must be supplying no more than 10 breaths per minute. Right now he is hovering around the 15/minute mark. His eyes are open a bunch, and it really seems as though he's taking things in, not just trying to focus. As of today, he is five weeks old, and thirty weeks overall. There are no guarantees, but what we've enjoyed to this point has been well worth the shake-up in our dreary lives. Laura has "kangaroo cared" with Ryan twice, and though I've yet to attempt the "skin-to-skin" bonding, it is sure to happen soon.

The evening has been quite arduous, and the real estate and web schedule for tomorrow is lengthy. My webmaster will be dropping by in the AM to set up the site with more linking and storage options, and I will be uploading more pertinent info on this site than any other Central Florida-based real estate site, save perhaps our own at Swann. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone with any and all real estate questions. I'd be happy to help. No, really...

Posted by: Paul @ 11:30 PM